I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize