I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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