Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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