He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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