This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
