the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
