Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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