i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
