If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
