we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
