If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
