Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
