you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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