Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Found the puke drawer
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
