So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
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I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
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They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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