You made me cry and you don't even care
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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