wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
