She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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