I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we made out on top of his cat.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Still dying that you shit outside
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
