She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
