her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
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And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
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We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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