with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
