The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
