Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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