So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
No more Irish car bombs ever.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
