all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
