apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
