For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
