This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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