Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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