Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
my being single is dangerous.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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