I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
