Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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