The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
