This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
My liver is preforming stress tests.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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