things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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