So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think your dad took our porno
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
