its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
