We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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