Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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