Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
