he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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