Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
