its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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