I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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