my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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