Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize