you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
