I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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