why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
