So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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