just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
