I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I deserve this hangover.
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