Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
