Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
