I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
