Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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