Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
