Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
