that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
