I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
