Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
