We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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