She announced her abortion via fbk
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
